It was a fine summer’s day in Death City, Nevada. Birds were singing, the sun was laughing, and Scythe Meister Maka Albarn was sitting in her apartment instead of enjoying the nice weather. On a day like today, most students of the Death Weapon Meister Academy would be out and about, playing games or hanging with friends.
But not Maka.
Maka would rather be sitting in the comfort of her home, book in hand and air conditioning roaring.
“Maka,” groaned Demon Scythe Soul Eater from the kitchen, “if you’re gonna stay inside all day, the least you could do is make some food.”
“Make your own food,” Maka retorted. “I’m reading.”
“You’re always reading,” said Soul Eater, leaning in the door frame to the living room. “The only thing you ever do is read. Why don’t you get up and actually do something with your life?”
“I am doing something with my life,” said Maka. “I’m nourishing my brain with literature.”
“That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard,” Soul scoffed through gritted teeth. “Now go outside.”
“I’m not even asking you to stop reading. I’m just asking you to read outside.”
“No,” Maka repeated adamantly. “It’s too hot. There’s AC in here.”
“Ugh… You’re such a pain.”
Soul Eater scratched his chin thoughtfully. Surely, there must have been some way to convince his meister to get up and about. Just a little push, some sort of motivation to do anything other than all this nothing. But what could it be? Then, Soul Eater got an idea. A horrible, awful, downright moronic idea.
“Maka,” said Soul Eater, a glint in his eye, “do you know what you need?”
“My own apartment?” Maka snarked.
Soul shook his head. “No,” he chuckled, grinning a twisted grin. “A boyfriend.”
Immediately Maka’s head shot up, her eyes bugging out of her face. “What did you just say?”
“You need a boyfriend,” Soul Eater repeated, “and I’m going to get you one.”
Laughing sarcastically, Maka slammed her book shut and set it on the couch beside her. “Um, no,” she said, “that is not happening. I am not getting a boyfriend, much less one that you suggest.”
“Aw, that’s adorable,” Soul Eater snickered. “You think you have a choice.”
He then forcefully lifted her over his shoulder and carried her out the door. She screamed the whole way.